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uselessnacho:

from what level of hell was this retrieved?
potatofreek:

penis-hilton:


hugcartel:

why is the mom telling her daughter she’s ready to shave?

why is the mom calling her daughter mom


maybe they are each other’s moms
titenoute:

kingatticus:

fantomeheart:

The only acceptable birthday cake

Nothing says “celebrate a year of not dying” like blowing out the flame on a salamander that will die without its fire.

Well you wouldn’t eat it while it’s alive, would you ? 

brow:

"i cant sleep"

"why"

BITCH IF I FUCKING KNEW, I WOULD’VE FIXED IT ALREADY AND GONE THE FUCK TO BED LIKE????

(Source: brow, via dutchster)


3 weeks ago // 136,729 notes

bigrnac:

school…more like..dumb…follow for more clever jokes

(Source: ouijasquiji, via pocheeto)


1 month ago // 110,948 notes
dlubes:

i love the new lana del rey music video
homophobias:

i hate this fucking website

nippled:

losing followers right when you start posting things

image

(via knedal)


1 month ago // 19,986 notes

meladoodle:

ladies laaaaadies, theres plenty of me to go around *detaches arm* thats for you Brenda

(Source: meladoodle, via dulect)


1 month ago // 375,226 notes

barebackinq:

Friend: Ill be there in 5 minutes are you ready?

Me:

image

(via dutchster)


1 month ago // 396,781 notes
  • Brazil: we came out to have a good time and hones-[Germany scores again]

1 month ago // 115,506 notes

timeywimeyhobbit:

why does my body keep  producing acne why can’t you focus on more important things like growing wings or making me hot 

(via pizza)


1 month ago // 608,010 notes

peenslayer:

drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious and, most importantly, drunk. 

(Source: peenslaya, via pizza)


1 month ago // 547,546 notes